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where do feathers meet fur?

black, to gold, to grey;

light

and

shadow

and

love.

black wings, golden crown, grey cloak
it sounds like a song
or a story

my words
my thoughts
my theories

I wonder if you'll like your gift
(I'm putting so much into it)

you know
my grey-furred soul liked you from the start

and I wonder
if you're what I think you are
because my senses are so often right
(on those things, at the very least)
is that why
I bowed at your feet
laid my head on your lap
puzzled you, I suppose
accepted your life
let your shadows blend into mine
contrasting his light
loved you.

your presence never felt harmful
predatory, maybe
and I knew to submit
like any wolf would

but you felt like
something I knew

maybe it's him
but maybe it's you

my wolf knew
to approach delicately
caution needed
scent the air, just-in-case
but still something

I know you, I think
somehow

my heart says you feel like a raven;
you move like a bird
odd to watch, from a body that always spoke cat
until you came out

and maybe that's why

how is it
that you
something
someone
from far away
whatever afterlife you know
calling it home
have hints of
forest, dark feathers, memories
who are you?
will I ever know your real name?

will you?

or will you always remain
a drifting shadow
a word on the tip of my tongue
black feathered wings (I could swear it)

you are
something
demon, but more than
darkness, but more than
raven, but more than
somehow sweet
somehow gentle
somehow kind
somehow something
more.

I still feel like I know you
your darkness is like the night's breath at three in the morning
while mine is a pre-dawn haze
and I should be afraid
but I'm leaning my head into you
breathing your scent
learning you
the way I always want to
like you're anyone
(re-learning you)

I want you closer

he might carry you inside of him
but I do too, now;
in my heart,
unexpected,
the way it always is

my raven,
my demon,
my love.
I can't feel:

longing, or

something;

wanting, for

something.

desperate with
words
looks
smiles

your smoke-and-gravel voice traveling up my spine
the smell of trees, somehow, is lingering on his hands
and it's tugging at me, at the corners of my memories
in the spots I can't quite reach, it's hovering
I know I know you.

I can't shake the memories.
As faint as they are
your heart sings out to me,
and mine sings back,
words, names, I can no longer understand

and I'm stuck in this new
body
world
life
where I'm wrapped up in
something
and floating lost
attached as if by a cord to
lifelines like;
the tentative notes in your voice
your half-whispered declarations of love
and the things I can't mold into words

I love you
that's the feeling
I love you
I love you
I love you
more than that
like a question you can't answer
a word that you can't quite
remember
it's there
somewhere in the darkness
on the edges of my vision
you
who are you
murky yellow
tree-shadows
wisps of something
I don't know
where it goes
but it might be you

light in dappled green
paw-steps on leaves, wind-sighs
golden gleam
fur like silver-white water
I don't know what it means
it's caught in haze
I can feel the importance
like a string
tugging me toward it, not letting me forget
but it's just out of reach
I can't grasp it
this meaning
and
how it relates to
you

when will I get to
know
see you
tell you what I'm thinking
get to risk this
string of half-formed thoughts
on the chance that maybe
you can find yourself
and I'll find what's inside me
the last thing, I think
and we'll find
us.
everything is connected
layers thin as gauze, touching, breathing in time
blending, trembling
the curve of your hands meets the curve of my ribs
and the curve of the horns
or maybe antlers is more correct
of the spirit (or maybe god)
so vivid in my mind
with his short two-pronged antlers
golden in the forest half-light
tentative steps, wolf-and-not
familiar-and-not
I do not remember why I remember
his face
though his is not accurate, nor would hers be
they are neither
does a song have a gender?

everything is connected
the softest whisper of leaves under those
ever-so-gentle feet
fades into the sighing of the wind
that makes leaves rain down on the place I am sleeping
startling
but if it wakes me up
I still know that I'm safe
you're there
not so many heartbeats away
if I was still wrapped in my grey cloak,
I could hear your breathing
steady and deep
two souls in one body
(or maybe three, I might dare to dream)
my guardian angel
(as much as that might make you laugh)
steady shelter
if he comes in the night
to hurt me again
I know you'll come.

Somehow, no matter what,
you'll come.
so desperate for that
dusk-red hair,
eyes like morning
light of my life
the only reason for living
I would fight the world to save you
I would take a thousand mortal wounds
and never die
until I knew you were safe
but you're not by my side now
how can I live
when you're so far away
and I'm so lost
and I'm still waking up
there's sleep in my eyes
I can barely feel you there
I was never prepared for this
ever since
you brought me into your life
the unspoken
and later spoken
promise, that you and I
were forever
not just for life
or until the stars burnt out
but longer
we'd find a way
I know you
you always find a way
so why can't I feel you near
you held my(her) hand that day, didn't you?
I'm trying to survive this ocean that is missing you
you know I never did learn to swim
where are you, Nathan
my love
why aren't you right here
where you belong
why aren't I next to you
where I belong
why am I here
where are you
I miss you
come home soon

deviantID

underorion
United States
I am a fool for adventures;

I love getting mail(especially from people I love).

I am who I am. Nothing more or less.
My, it has been a long time. Oh, the stories I could tell you, my friends. Life has been borderline insane of late.
Long ago, I met someone wonderful; and we came together. We are still together, and for nearly two years, now; I hope this remains so. There are questions in it, now.
Regardless, I believe we will revolve around each other for quite some time. This one, my much-loved, had cancer, like poison in his lungs. But we made it through this. Even I, despite who and how I am, did pray for him. He is healthy again. We were very lucky.  We still are; there have been further scares with his health. And now, with mine. There is fear in my heart. The bone of my skull is deeply infected, at this point. I have been a sickly wreck for months. It may be the death of me, in the long run. I am afraid.
Should I not, however, there is hope. I wish to go somewhere better, and I; we; are pursuing it. Things may yet get better. I may struggle out of the waves at last, though they try their best to drag me under.
Wish me luck.

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:iconanapests-and-ink:
anapests-and-ink Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for the watch and all the favs!
Reply
:iconladybitterblue:
LadyBitterblue Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014   Writer
You write wonderfully. I hope you're doing well and have a beautiful day. :heart:
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:iconladylincoln:
LadyLincoln Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for your :+devwatch: I appreciate the support!

With love,
:heart:
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:iconimaginative-lioness:
imaginative-lioness Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank-you so much for taking the time to add 'Soldier' to your favourites, it truly means a lot! Hope you have a wonderful day. :heart:

:huggle: :love:
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconthxfavplz: It's warmly appreciated! :happybounce::thanks:
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